As a soon to be married woman, I have a unique insight into this transition from single woman to wife. This weekend I will recite my vows and marry my best friend. Not to get too sappy, but to be honest, I can’t wait! As this week flies by I ponder my last few days as a single gal and realize that this week, I will do many things for the “last” time. Since my sentimental side takes over in situations like this, I wonder if other girls in my same position also think about the period in their life that is ending before the new one begins. Or do they run, arms outstretched, towards their future without so much as a backwards glance? This is a week of reflection for me, the significance of Saturday is not lost on me, I’m not in any sort of princess fantasy delusion. The prospect of us being together for the rest of my life makes me feel happy. Happy in a content, satisfied, safe, and wonderful way that makes me feel like my future happiness is almost guaranteed. He’s not a stranger to me, I know his flaws, and he knows mine. We just work together; we compliment each other in a way where we just fit. I can’t help but wonder… should a be more happy or nostalgic that this is my last week as a single girl?

The bridal shower is an honoured tradition that most people (including myself) know very little about. This US custom is said to have evolved from the practice of giving a dowry. When a family could not afford a dowry, or when the parents of a bride did not approve of the match and refused to provide her with a dowry, friends of the bride would gather bearing gifts that would compose a makeshift dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice. This beautiful tradition of celebrating love has devolved into a shameless grab for more gifts and money. I was recently introduced to the concept of a “Presentation Shower.” Since Google revealed little insight into the meaning of this concept I was forced to do my own research. Here are the two possible meanings: 1. Money Shower (in disguise) where everyone brings money and a large gift is then “presented” to the bride at the shower 2. Unwrapped gifts are expected and displayed on a table to avoid the lengthy gift opening portion of the shower Neither one of these options is appealing to me as a bride. I much prefer gifts over money and opening gifts is half the fun of receiving them. Since according to my research gift-giving is almost the entire purpose of having a bridal shower, there is no use in arguing this point. The money shower, however, is an ugly interpretation of the original intention and is widely viewed as both tacky and greedy. Is there really any polite way to ask for money? I think not. I can’t help but wonder… can we still call them “gifts” if they are required to be given?

In keeping with the wedding theme of this week my post today will be in regards to wedding invitations. As a proper lady (or at least I like to think of myself as classy) I did endless research on the etiquette behind the wedding invitation. Since this is the first glimpse into the wedding that guests will receive, I wanted to make sure it was done right. In my brief experience I have encountered some strange and unusual feedback on the subject which I will share with you. A few days after mailing the invitations I received a few emails and calls from excited guests complimenting the beauty of the invitation itself and expressing their excitement to attend. Mission accomplished! Thanks so my bridesmaids and mother (as well as my fiancé who had to tie the last remaining ribbons after the girls left because mine were appallingly bad). Then comes the strange part… I received comments of, “You didn’t need to send me an invitation.” And “[Groomsman] doesn’t need an invitation.” Now I ask you… Obviously the groomsmen are going to attend the wedding, but do they not deserve/need to be invited? Also, is it presumptuous to assume that the parents of the couple don’t need to be invited? Where do we draw the line? Would it get to the point where family would be insulted to receive an invitation because it means that they are not close enough to you that it was assumed that they would attend? I can’t help but wonder… why do we invite guests if they don’t want to be invited?

Weddings are a billion dollar business. This is no surprise. It seems that people can sell anything to a girl for her “special day” and brides are the most profitable market for retailers in the world. Yet in my experience there is one piece of this business that I find appalling: the wedding cake. In our quest for cakes we stumbled upon some of the worst scams imaginable. One store in particular handed me a menu of all the cake and filling flavours available, a long list. On the second page of the pamphlet it listed prices for cakes by size ranging from $20-$50 per cake. On display were tiered wedding cakes consisting of various sizes stacked on top of each other. A 12-inch cake topped by a 10-inch and an 8-inch looked just right to me. I added the numbers (my specialty): $40 + $30 +$20 = $90. Plus I assumed some decorating and delivery charges on top of this amount. I looked at the price tag on the display cake and gaped: $550 not including decoration or delivery. How could there be a $460 price difference? Was it just that the word “wedding” was included before the word “cake,” or was there more to it than that? Not one to shy away from conflict, and to give the shop the benefit of the doubt, I politely asked, “could you please explain why there is such a difference in price from your cake menu to the wedding cakes displayed?” I was then told with (I kid you not) annoyance that, “there is a lot more thought and planning that go into a wedding cake” and that I wouldn’t want a simple birthday cake that was just “slapped together.” Needless to say I was appalled by this and left the shop without purchasing anything. I can’t help but wonder… did our quest for cakes uncover something illegal or just unsavory?

I admit that I am a hopeless romantic. Even when reality proves me wrong, I hold on tightly to those images of flowers brought home for no reason, poems and songs written about me, and bended-knee declarations. So I am probably partly to blame for the events that unfolded following my truly romantic engagement. Still on a flowery, rosy high from the event, I plotted my first acts as a newly engaged woman. Of course, this involved the making of lists and the performing of research (okay so my methodical side is not very romantic). When I arrived at last at my most desired destination on the list: dress shopping, I faced nothing but disappointment. Let me first mention that I committed an apparent bridal faux-pas by wanting a gown that was (gasp) not strapless. Strapless gowns are not flattering on most people and I have seen too many wedding pictures with brides in beautiful dresses that are not suited to their body shape at all. Not wanting to be a beautiful girl in a beautiful dress where the combination was just average, I persisted. One store had only one dress for me to try on that was not strapless! Most other stores had rows and rows of dresses, hundreds in all, but only five to ten non-strapless ones for me to try. Finally I managed to find my dream dress in a magazine and have it special ordered by a family friend who owns a small bridal shop in a nearby town, where I could try it on before committing to buy. I still had my moment where my sister gasped and my mother cried and we knew that this was THE dress. But with all the drama leading up to that instant, it was a little less shiny than I had imagined. In the real world, the perfect strapless body shape is a minority and yet the dress selection does not reflect this. Why not? I can’t help but wonder… are the people who stock the stores with rows of “dream” dresses dreaming?

Now that the secret is out about my upcoming wedding, I thought I would post some details regarding my whirlwind wedding experience so far. First up: becoming engaged. I must admit that I didn’t know much about this process except for the fairy-tale stories passed down to me through books, movies and other romantic exaggerations. In truth, becoming engaged is like joining a very exclusive club. At first, you can’t wait to be a member; you want to slip on that giant sparkler and yell, “Yes! Yes!” at the top of your lungs. Then… you have some reservations about membership… you ask yourself all the questions that shiny diamonds had initially banished from your mind: What will happen to your friendships with those fab girls who have not yet been invited to join? Are you ready for a lifetime commitment to membership? Are you ready to give up your strong, single, independent ways? What other sacrifices will you have to make to earn your place in the club: Frightening in-laws? Feuding families? Closet space? In truth, the transition is much more of an emotional one than society allows us to discuss, and much less of a Cinderella fairytale. Planning a wedding is a lot of work, and not always fun, shiny and beautiful. People will tell you this in a very superficial way, but let me explain it as plainly as I can: this experience will be a true test of your relationship. When things get tough, what will you do? When you disagree on the guest list or food choices, how will you resolve it? When you get stressed and overwhelmed, how will you react? Will planning “the most important day of your life” ruin it? That, my friends, is up to you. I’m just here to warn you that the wedding planning process will test you as a couple, and if you can make it to the wedding day and still want to take that walk down the aisle then you’ve passed. Be kind to each other, try to fight fair, kiss and make up, and most importantly remember that you’re in it together, for better or for worse. I can’t help but wonder… why aren’t there any classes for life’s most important tests?